Da Bachelorhood

Every guy out there knows that, inherent with being a man, there are great decisions that need to be made. Hooker or dog? Boxers or briefs? Is a mouth a mouth? Condom or baby? Cigarettes, or for two dollars more in NY, crack? However, there are many more decisions that, unlike those mentioned, we don’t face every morning. This is the first chapter of a book that may eventually turn into an encyclopedia. (more…)

You’re probably saying to yourself, “Hey you aren’t better than me.” Well you may be right, but you’ll never be able to convince me. I got too much going on for me. Just this weekend alone I got Brickman to say 5 separate times, “God damn it, I hate Jersey.” If you aren’t good enough to provoke deep hatred from the self-pity, emo, teenage angst even though he’s getting close to 30, hairy, nicotine depraved punk, then God damn it, I MUST be better than you. Just in case you need to me to specifically tell you how much better I am than you, I will, and I remind you, all these things are true: (more…)