Da Bachelorhood

We’re all sorry none of us has written in a while, but I think I have a girlfriend now ( blow up doll? ) and most of the other guys are too busy watching Brokeback Mountain. Anyways, I decided to look through some freshman year AIM logs, and bring up an event that we haven’t talked about in a long, long time…

I know what you’re thinking. There’s absolutely no way John Rambo could have killed all those cops in the forest in First Blood, unless they were all cops like Jersey. But that’s beside the point. The point is, i’m about to take you on a journey…a journey to the deepest, darkest, wettest depths of love-induced hell: gazz’s nether-regions. Most of you may find it disgusting, but really, it’s a tale of seduction and love; the soundtrack of which sounds like a boot stuck in mud, only wetter. And no, no one had the chance to utter ‘be gentle’ before it all went down. (more…)

Meeting your girlfriend’s parents for the first time isn’t easy. There can be a lot of pressure to at least appear to live up the sky-high expectations parents have for their children. Important thing is to maintain your composure and and lie your ass off if need be. Don’t worry though, Goofus and Gallant will be there to help teach you right from wrong. (more…)

I think one of the most fun things you can do in life is trick people into doing things that they otherwise wouldn’t do. Like voting. The key to getting people to walk into something is to (more…)

Well its Valentines day and for some odd reason I have a Valentine this year. This is a mixed blessing because it means I’ll get laid (unless she reads this post) but it also means I’m shelling out mad cash to make that fine, young lady in my life swoon. I considered writing a post about how to make that special young lady in your life happy, but then realized it be more fun if I wrote about what I would want my girlfriend to do for me if Valentines Day was centered on the Dude and not the Chick. Let me give you a Shitbrick-esque tour de force of my perfect VDay with the LadyFriend, in a realistic manner. (editors note: Brickman will be coming with a single’s guide to VDAY later today) (more…)