Archive for the Surviving in the Workplace Category

(UPDATE AT BOTTOM) 

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
- Phyllis Diller
By Golly, its office party time. Time to chase office tail and drink eggnog until you have the courage to tell you boss that you have a crush on her. Not cause she’s hot, but because you dig the whole powersuit look shes got going for her. God damn it I love a woman in slacks. (more…)

Good Morning everyone. I’m sorry for my absence of late, I’ve been studying for the LSAT’s and all those letters made me hate words. Thank God Brick can fake a massive ego to fill in the void I’ve left behind.

Now that I’ve entered the secret and hidiously isolationist world of blogging, I’ve been more and more addicted and awed by the power of the blog. I’m not talking about TMZ or Perez Hilton, because those are for women and guys who wax multiple parts of their body, I’m talking about sports. Grunt. (more…)

Alright, I figure most of our readership is in college or just leaving college. That means you’re probably just now finding out how worthless a diploma is when everyone has one nowadays. The key is to set yourself apart by getting another diploma, called a graduate degree (google it - they really exist.) This second degree is the Red Sox to your competition’s Indians and will ensure that you get hired. (more…)

  • if you can, when you first get the job, try to get a computer or a cubicle that faces a wall so no one can sneak up behind you and catch you fucking off. THIS WILL SIGNIFICANTLY IMPROVE YOUR CHANCES OF NOT GETTING CAUGHT.
  • always be eating something or have something to eat at arms length. if someone catches you fucking off, tell them you are taking your break. it’s more believable if you’re eating something.
  • (more…)

The Hangover

Its tough making the adjustment from college meat head alcoholic rugby playing Irishmen, to Monday through Friday 9-5, commuter working stiff. Especially when you take into account that before you started your job you went through your summer you had to endure graduation party season, which is a open bar paradise of liquor, beer, and sundresses.
(more…)