Da Bachelorhood

My name is Patrick Brickman. I was the first human being on the planet, and my birth caused the continents to divide. The day I turned one month old, I took my first step, which gave rise to human language. I spoke my first word before the sun existed, and it is pronounced far9gusto%+-*xq. It can mean ice-cream sundae, threesome, tornado, or long-range sniper rifle, depending on the context. One time in the late 80s I sneezed, which is now considered by experts to be the basis of most religions. (more…)