Da Bachelorhood

We’re all sorry none of us has written in a while, but I think I have a girlfriend now ( blow up doll? ) and most of the other guys are too busy watching Brokeback Mountain. Anyways, I decided to look through some freshman year AIM logs, and bring up an event that we haven’t talked about in a long, long time…

I know what you’re thinking. There’s absolutely no way John Rambo could have killed all those cops in the forest in First Blood, unless they were all cops like Jersey. But that’s beside the point. The point is, i’m about to take you on a journey…a journey to the deepest, darkest, wettest depths of love-induced hell: gazz’s nether-regions. Most of you may find it disgusting, but really, it’s a tale of seduction and love; the soundtrack of which sounds like a boot stuck in mud, only wetter. And no, no one had the chance to utter ‘be gentle’ before it all went down. (more…)

Now, don’t judge a book by its cover. I’m a chilvaristic guy, although machiavellian at times (what the fuck does guy mean?), and I would never touch a women in anger. Unless it was one of these women. Let’s admit it, the rules that we’ve grown up with can only take us so far. We all know how to be nice to women and treat a lady right. However, there are seven women that i know of on this planet that, if I ran into them in public, I would knock the fuck out. (more…)

Today Patrick Swayze announced he has pancreatic cancer. November was pancreatic cancer awareness month. It looks like someone should have paid attention!
(more…)

So here we are, again on the eve of the worst holiday of the year. Easy, i’m not trashing it because its a ‘love’ day, but only because i’ve got a few paragraphs to write before I get there. I mean, how can you have a holiday that you don’t even get off work or school for? Or one where you don’t get real presents?

(more…)

“omg i’m so tired i could sleep forever”
(more…)