Da Bachelorhood

My dear readers*, one of my favorite holidays is fast approaching. I’m not talking about the Ides of March; as a Caesar sympathizer, I’m actually not a fan of it. The greatest alcoholic day of the year (right behind Mother’s Day) is just around the corner: St. Patrick’s Day! The day is about beer, unlike last month, Black History month, which was more malt liquor focused. That joke is ok because I have a black friend. (more…)

Today Patrick Swayze announced he has pancreatic cancer. November was pancreatic cancer awareness month. It looks like someone should have paid attention!
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Our condolences to his family, especially his young child. Heath Ledger was 29.

(cue up scene from 10 Thing I Hate About You when he’s singing… acting gold)

So, there are some of us who wake up with crushing hangovers every weekend morning, or in my case, every day. Some of us have a routine, like drinking coffee or inducing vomiting or killing the hooker that we didn’t want to pay for. I have a better solution. Ever seen the Green Mile? I think we should kidnap michael clarke duncan’s character and have him suck out the hangover demons every morning. Not only would it help the hangover, it would also help racial compliance laws!

I must emphasize, before we delve into the issue at hand, that a man’s bathroom is a safe place. It is a place of non-judgment, profound thoughts, and hope. Unfortunately, if all of these are combined in close quarters, they smell like feces. (more…)