Da Bachelorhood

Well, if you follow politics, and I don’t, you would have heard that Presidential Candidate and Republican front runner John McCain has been accused of having an affair with a woman, other than his wife. I’ve done extensive research utilizing only the scandalous front page of the NY Post and what I’ve overheard my co-workers saying and have formulated a clear opinion on the matter. Of course he should be able to cheat on his wife, McCain should be able to bang and chick he wants, whenever he wants. The guy was in a Vietnamese prison for five years during which he was horribly beaten. The guy was a God damn fighter pilot. He deserves to spread his seed.

That article (read: cover of newspaper I did not in anyway attempt to open or read) got me thinking. There are some guys who should just get a free pass on adultery. Some guys should be able to have a chick ride his magical bologna pony at any time, regardless of relationship status.

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In Honor of Single’s Awareness Day one year ago tonight on Those Guys Radio Show, Jersey and I premiered this mix that was on Ruckus.com’s Most Downloaded Playlist of the Week. To reminisce the good ‘ol days and to drink away the todays, Those Guys Radio Show proudly still brags about their creation that all chicks dig - The Middle School Slow Dance Mix.

10. I’ll Be - Edwin McCain

9. As Long As You Love Me - Backstreet Boys

8. I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing - Aerosmith

7. I Swear - All-4-One

6. Everything I Do, I DO It For You - Bryan Adams

5. My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion

4. Truly Madly Deeply - Savage Garden

3. Back At One - Brian McKnight

2. I’ll Make Love To You - Boyz II Men

1. All My Life - K-Ci & JoJo

In order to stave off debilitating loneliness around this Hallmark holiday season, a single male has many options available to him; some of them existentially fulfilling, some of them truly sad, and some of them involving illegal interstate transportation of infant pandas. But no matter which path you choose, always remember that the only reason you are alone this year is because either a) you aren’t presenting yourself to the opposite sex in a favorable way, b) you just haven’t tried hard enough to hide your lisp, or c) you’re poor and smelly and gay and stupid and unfunny and left-handed and poor.
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Well its Valentines day and for some odd reason I have a Valentine this year. This is a mixed blessing because it means I’ll get laid (unless she reads this post) but it also means I’m shelling out mad cash to make that fine, young lady in my life swoon. I considered writing a post about how to make that special young lady in your life happy, but then realized it be more fun if I wrote about what I would want my girlfriend to do for me if Valentines Day was centered on the Dude and not the Chick. Let me give you a Shitbrick-esque tour de force of my perfect VDay with the LadyFriend, in a realistic manner. (editors note: Brickman will be coming with a single’s guide to VDAY later today) (more…)

On Line for the Movie 

Gallant: Discusses his anticipation in seeing the movie and offers to purchase the young lady’s ticket.

Goofus: Lies to his date, and tells her he left his wallet at home. When the truth is it was stolen during a 5 dollar lapdance he got while enjoying the free buffet for lunch at his local strip club. (more…)