Da Bachelorhood

  Normally here on DaBachelorhood when a celebrity dies we take the opportunity to mock their untimely death, the way in which they croaked and the many failures in their life. Nothing of the sort will happen today unless one of the Olsen Twins finally ODs on coke and bulimia. Yesterday evening THE icon to the humor of DaBachelorhood, George Carlin died of heart failure. If you are a regular reader of this site then you should be familiar with the man that has done to Political Correctness what Katrina did to New Orleans. His ability to play with the english language was uncanny and one of a kind. “What do they mean by “Pre-Board”? To get on before you get on?” His three books (When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops, Napalm & Silly Puddy, Briandroppings) have all been on Best-Sellers Lists and he was to receive the 2008 Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. (more…)

We’re all sorry none of us has written in a while, but I think I have a girlfriend now ( blow up doll? ) and most of the other guys are too busy watching Brokeback Mountain. Anyways, I decided to look through some freshman year AIM logs, and bring up an event that we haven’t talked about in a long, long time…

I know what you’re thinking. There’s absolutely no way John Rambo could have killed all those cops in the forest in First Blood, unless they were all cops like Jersey. But that’s beside the point. The point is, i’m about to take you on a journey…a journey to the deepest, darkest, wettest depths of love-induced hell: gazz’s nether-regions. Most of you may find it disgusting, but really, it’s a tale of seduction and love; the soundtrack of which sounds like a boot stuck in mud, only wetter. And no, no one had the chance to utter ‘be gentle’ before it all went down. (more…)

As you can tell from some of my last posts I’m a bit of a sports fan, especially when it comes to fantasy sports and no I don’t mean hunting women for sport (Sause). I know this is a rather easy writing vehicle, but at least this is a fun one. I’m going to draft my own fantasy softball team, drafting not on the concept of stats alone, but also factoring in that I would be drinking with these people after the game, chasing broads with them, and enjoying general merryment. I’ll pick 10 players (standard for any softball team). You ready? Well I can’t HEAR YOU!?!?! Seriously, I can’t hear you. Stop yelling like maniac. (more…)

Meeting your girlfriend’s parents for the first time isn’t easy. There can be a lot of pressure to at least appear to live up the sky-high expectations parents have for their children. Important thing is to maintain your composure and and lie your ass off if need be. Don’t worry though, Goofus and Gallant will be there to help teach you right from wrong. (more…)