Da Bachelorhood

We’re all sorry none of us has written in a while, but I think I have a girlfriend now ( blow up doll? ) and most of the other guys are too busy watching Brokeback Mountain. Anyways, I decided to look through some freshman year AIM logs, and bring up an event that we haven’t talked about in a long, long time…

I know what you’re thinking. There’s absolutely no way John Rambo could have killed all those cops in the forest in First Blood, unless they were all cops like Jersey. But that’s beside the point. The point is, i’m about to take you on a journey…a journey to the deepest, darkest, wettest depths of love-induced hell: gazz’s nether-regions. Most of you may find it disgusting, but really, it’s a tale of seduction and love; the soundtrack of which sounds like a boot stuck in mud, only wetter. And no, no one had the chance to utter ‘be gentle’ before it all went down. (more…)

Since most of us here in Da Hood are bored as hell in our first-out-of-college jobs or bored in class, all day we email the group with random thoughts, coarse jokes and obviously inappropriate comments, most of which begin the posts on this very website. After 256 email responses and countless posts, here are the best of our one liners thus far;
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1. jersey once backed over a box of sleeping kittens with a steamroller… slowly
2. prior to running over the aforementioned box of kittens, he set up an elaborate system of mirrors so he could watch
3. he has never once smoked a cigarette with me
4. he has three illegitimate children with three separate women… all nuns
5. he hates freedom
6. he named his chihuahua RainbowBaby LoveSnuggles McCue the 3rd
7. he developed a hybrid of the two scariest things alive: a wolf and AIDS - it’s called wolf AIDS
8. he tests the effects of wolf AIDS on retarded panda orphans
9. his ego is so inflated, it’s like Abe Vigoda’s prostate… except jersey smells worse and is less welcoming
10. he mercilessly and with no regard for human ethical standards or decency walks around in shorts… he really has no business in shorts

a shrimp on the barbie for the dearly departed. may he box kangaroos in heaven and talk funny for all eternity.

It’s Gazzerro’s social life rotting away