Da Bachelorhood

My dear readers*, one of my favorite holidays is fast approaching. I’m not talking about the Ides of March; as a Caesar sympathizer, I’m actually not a fan of it. The greatest alcoholic day of the year (right behind Mother’s Day) is just around the corner: St. Patrick’s Day! The day is about beer, unlike last month, Black History month, which was more malt liquor focused. That joke is ok because I have a black friend. (more…)

So here we are, again on the eve of the worst holiday of the year. Easy, i’m not trashing it because its a ‘love’ day, but only because i’ve got a few paragraphs to write before I get there. I mean, how can you have a holiday that you don’t even get off work or school for? Or one where you don’t get real presents?

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My New Year’s resolution is to stop saying “you go girl” to myself. - Zach Galifianakis

New Years has always been a letdown for me. I have never once had a crazy time bringing in the new year, except maybe for that one time I ate out that underage girl in my friend’s sleeping bag (it was legal, albeit vaguely unethical. That sleeping bag never smelled the same). The most excitement I get out of the new year is when I go back to work and can playfully banter about how I keep forgetting to write an 8 instead of a 7. It’s a real hit with the 55 and over crowd…….. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I have experienced a lot of crazy things in college (my freshman-year dorm floor getting written up a week before our first semester even began, paying two people to make the sex in front of 6 or so close associates, stumbling into Denny’s drunk at 730am, realizing I left my tab open at the bar, and then going back to drink until 1030, etc etc etc), but New Years has never been the hootenanny that Dick Clark promised me (although one more stroke for him and his New Years Eve special will be HILARIOUS).
The only action I can take is to layout my perfect New Years Extravaganza for you all to read. Then, hopefully, we can work together to make it happen when the next year comes around.
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Well, its official….we’re all going to hell….

This is the official Da Bachelorhood Christmas wish list… (more…)

Merry Christmas from your favorite boys. Posts will probably be slower than they already are, cause half of us are going on vacation. Except for Sause, he’ll continue to write posts about his anger at 3 AM through the New Year.

Later tonight I’ll be publishing a complete list of what me and the boys want for Christmas and Anti-Christmas (Brick). Get drunk…