Da Bachelorhood

  Normally here on DaBachelorhood when a celebrity dies we take the opportunity to mock their untimely death, the way in which they croaked and the many failures in their life. Nothing of the sort will happen today unless one of the Olsen Twins finally ODs on coke and bulimia. Yesterday evening THE icon to the humor of DaBachelorhood, George Carlin died of heart failure. If you are a regular reader of this site then you should be familiar with the man that has done to Political Correctness what Katrina did to New Orleans. His ability to play with the english language was uncanny and one of a kind. “What do they mean by “Pre-Board”? To get on before you get on?” His three books (When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops, Napalm & Silly Puddy, Briandroppings) have all been on Best-Sellers Lists and he was to receive the 2008 Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.

Pushing the envelope and crossing the line doesn’t even come close to describe what Carlin did on stage. Subjects that general people are too uncomfortable to even think about would be carried to a level none of us knew existed. He called out the bullshit behind politics, religion, American culture, and everything in the world that pissed him off. Carlin made us rethink intentions and contexts of thing we looked past unnoticed every day.

Religion - “Religion has actually convinced people that there is an invisible man in the sky that watches everything that you do. And there ten things that he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do them then you will burn in a river of fire. But he loves you, and he needs your money. All-loving, all-knowing, all-powerful but he can’t handle a check book.” 

Politics - “Dan Quail is stupid, full of shit and fucking nuts. And where did he get that wife of his, at a Halloween party? She looks like Prince Charles. Does he actually have to fuck that woman? God help him, I wouldn’t fuck her with a stolen dick.”

Prostitution - “I do not understand why prostitution is illegal. How is something illegal to sell that is perfectly legal to give away?” In the army you get a medal for spraying napalm on people, as a civilian you go to jail for giving someone an orgasum. I can’t fallow the logic of that at all.”

Abortion - “Why is it when it happens to us it is abortion, when it happens to a chicken it’s an omelette. And don’t you think it’s just mildly ironic that most of the people against abortion are people that you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place?”

Rape - “Rape at the North Pole is near impossible. Have you ever tried to get wet leather leggings off a woman who’s kicking? You would lose your hard on in the process, in the North Pole your dick would shrivel up like a stack of dimes.”

Dogs vs. Cats, Baseball vs. Football, Driving, Losing stuff, Racial Slurs. George Carlin has shown us a perspective that all of us here view life, and that is finding the sick aspects in everything, and life has never been more fun. Carlin’s most known act was “7 Words You Can’t Say On Television“ which after being aired on public radio was taken to the Supreme Court with the FCC.

We Bachelors raise our glasses to the man who made the sick, inappropriate, questionable and shocking funny. His one liners are traded like baseball cards and he will be sorely missed. All of us have experienced at least one of George Carlin’s jokes in real life. For me; “I’ve never fucked a 10 but one night I fucked five 2s.”

Thank You George.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 23rd, 2008 at 4:22 pm and is filed under But God damn it I respect you, I want to drink with THAT guy, Love. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.