Da Bachelorhood

So my old laptop is officially too unreliable to be used as anything other than a fire hazard. I decided a few days ago after months of pondering that I definitely wanted a Macbook Air because it looked cool. No really, I wanted to buy one of the most inconvenient computers on the market because it looked cool. Yeah, I’m willing to sacrifice every feature I use for a sleek, hipster counting machine.
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  Normally here on DaBachelorhood when a celebrity dies we take the opportunity to mock their untimely death, the way in which they croaked and the many failures in their life. Nothing of the sort will happen today unless one of the Olsen Twins finally ODs on coke and bulimia. Yesterday evening THE icon to the humor of DaBachelorhood, George Carlin died of heart failure. If you are a regular reader of this site then you should be familiar with the man that has done to Political Correctness what Katrina did to New Orleans. His ability to play with the english language was uncanny and one of a kind. “What do they mean by “Pre-Board”? To get on before you get on?” His three books (When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops, Napalm & Silly Puddy, Briandroppings) have all been on Best-Sellers Lists and he was to receive the 2008 Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. (more…)

I spent a lot of time growing up memorizing his lines, his timing, and his style; everything I know about comedy I learned from Mr. Carlin. I think I speak for all of us here at DaBachelorhood in saying that, collectively, he’s probably our largest influence.
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We’re all sorry none of us has written in a while, but I think I have a girlfriend now ( blow up doll? ) and most of the other guys are too busy watching Brokeback Mountain. Anyways, I decided to look through some freshman year AIM logs, and bring up an event that we haven’t talked about in a long, long time…

I know what you’re thinking. There’s absolutely no way John Rambo could have killed all those cops in the forest in First Blood, unless they were all cops like Jersey. But that’s beside the point. The point is, i’m about to take you on a journey…a journey to the deepest, darkest, wettest depths of love-induced hell: gazz’s nether-regions. Most of you may find it disgusting, but really, it’s a tale of seduction and love; the soundtrack of which sounds like a boot stuck in mud, only wetter. And no, no one had the chance to utter ‘be gentle’ before it all went down. (more…)