Da Bachelorhood

As you can tell from some of my last posts I’m a bit of a sports fan, especially when it comes to fantasy sports and no I don’t mean hunting women for sport (Sause). I know this is a rather easy writing vehicle, but at least this is a fun one. I’m going to draft my own fantasy softball team, drafting not on the concept of stats alone, but also factoring in that I would be drinking with these people after the game, chasing broads with them, and enjoying general merryment. I’ll pick 10 players (standard for any softball team). You ready? Well I can’t HEAR YOU!?!?! Seriously, I can’t hear you. Stop yelling like maniac.

Starting Pitcher:Jenny Finch- Her K/9 ratio will be unbelievable when you consider how many hitter will get lost in her eyes.

Catcher:Yogi Berra- Can you think of a better and more entertaining guy? The confusion he’ll cause while talking smack to the batters is enough, let alone, I’m pretty sure he played drunk for 18 years.

First Base:John Kruk-Sealed his spot on the team after being asked why so many players get hamstring injuries and he replied, “Babe Ruth never went on the DL with a pulled Hammy; eat a hot dog, drink a beer, you’ll be fine.” Will only be allowed to play WITH his mullet.

Second Base:Krazy Kousin Brendan- I love my cousin and God Damn it he’s got some cartoon character power at the plate, kinda resembles the guy on the right. Plus, I’ve never with my own eyes seen anyone drink as much as him. He’s a given, just trust me on this.

Shortstop:Ozzie Smith-Will be able to cover enough ground with moves like this.

Third Base:Pete Rose-Home games will be played in Las Vegas, Nevada. You do the math.

OF:Josh Hamilton- You want to party? This guy can party, but he can also hit like a Roy Hobbes.

OF:Albert Belle- Anyone want a bench clearing brawl? No? No takers, didn’t think so.

OF:Babe Ruth- Will bring his power and chubby charm to an already hard charging, hard drinking team. Promises not to play a single game with out a cigar in his mouth and a hangover clouding his judgement.

Utility:Mollie Schrank:(blush). She’s a slap hitting speedster that no one has heard of….therefore I call dibs.

Manager/Post-Game Drinking Coordinator: Billy Martin - Will be repeatedly fired for not being able to control this team.

 

Let me know your thoughts in the comments………

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 15th, 2008 at 3:26 pm and is filed under A fish mouth is sexier than I thought, I want to drink with THAT guy, Love, Sports, bored at work, horney. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.