Da Bachelorhood

(Hold for applause)

But I would be liar if I told you I didn’t miss it; with every straight line I walk, sunny day that doesn’t give me a headache, and two syllabel word I can pronounce. I’m tired of the days where I don’t blackout and wake up drooling, its time for a change. I’ve been able to think clearly since (R)October 20, 2007 and what has it gotten me? I left college, got a girlfriend, got a 9-5 working for The Man, and live with my parents to save money. You call that thinking straight? I’ve had enough, it all ends Friday.

Friday I go back to my addiction and I think it will be better for all of us. No longer will my ego grow unchecked like a tumor in Patrick Swayze’s head. Its time for me to grow up and starting acting like the real man I’ve always wanted to be. A 15 year old in a 23 year old’s body. Starting this friday I start getting back in shape and I start getting my ass kicked on a regular basis. It was this strategy that gave me the best times of my life in college and will help improve my life in the future. Friday at 5pm (est) I start boxing.

Am I nervous? A little. Am I scared? Of course not. I’ve had 4 friends in the past try boxing and 3 quit after 2 weeks. All three because they received minor, yet visable injuries (read: pussy’s). The 4th was asked not to come back to the gym after all three of my friends that quit, as well as breaking another kid’s jaw. From what they’ve told me, its a great hobby to get killed doing.

What I’m hoping to get out of this is the same things I hoped to get out of rugby and wrestling; exercise to get me a kick ass body that will make Gazz be even funnier in order to justify being in my entourage, get my ass kicked a little so I stay level, and another way to kill a human being.

At the very least this could give all the readers and my friends something to cheer for, regardless if its for me to win, or die. I’ll keep you updated on that and my various injuries, as well as the inevitability of my girlfriend crying when she gets the call from the hospital and the doctor has to explain what a medically induced coma is.

Sidenotes and things I’m thinking about:

• Keep fighting the good fight reputable bloggers of the world, while we prove Mr. Bissenger right!
• I’m in two fantasy baseball leagues and after a month of action, I’m in second in one league (out of 10) and third in the other (out of 14). I only tell people this because I want to talk about my fantasy baseball teams, constantly, but no one cares God damn it…. by the way… Matt Kemp is going to hit 25 homers and steal 25 bases…maybe even 100 RBI’s…. thats my tip for the day.
• I didn’t know I couldn’t do that, officer.
• Yankees are killing me, the Jets at least look like they might make the playoffs and the Rangers are out of it again.
• I went to a wedding this weekend, and brought my girlfriend. She might read this post, so let me just put this in a gentle way. If you are single and go to a wedding…. well, its a God damn Turkey shoot…
• I’m starting to fear my girlfriend, which according to the movie “Knocked Up” and any relationship analyst thats a woman…. is a good thing.
• Fuck
• I didn’t get drafted again this year. (Now tuck joke away until May 2009 and reuse).
• Speaking of the wedding, much to my drunk sister’s chagrin, they ran out of Pino Grigio. Where’s Jesus when you need him?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 6th, 2008 at 12:43 pm and is filed under But God damn it I respect you, I want to drink with THAT guy, Sports, You Wish You Were Still In College, bored at work, injuries, my life is becoming pathetic. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.