Da Bachelorhood

As you can tell from some of my last posts I’m a bit of a sports fan, especially when it comes to fantasy sports and no I don’t mean hunting women for sport (Sause). I know this is a rather easy writing vehicle, but at least this is a fun one. I’m going to draft my own fantasy softball team, drafting not on the concept of stats alone, but also factoring in that I would be drinking with these people after the game, chasing broads with them, and enjoying general merryment. I’ll pick 10 players (standard for any softball team). You ready? Well I can’t HEAR YOU!?!?! Seriously, I can’t hear you. Stop yelling like maniac. (more…)

Now, don’t judge a book by its cover. I’m a chilvaristic guy, although machiavellian at times (what the fuck does guy mean?), and I would never touch a women in anger. Unless it was one of these women. Let’s admit it, the rules that we’ve grown up with can only take us so far. We all know how to be nice to women and treat a lady right. However, there are seven women that i know of on this planet that, if I ran into them in public, I would knock the fuck out. (more…)

(Hold for applause)

But I would be liar if I told you I didn’t miss it; with every straight line I walk, sunny day that doesn’t give me a headache, and two syllabel word I can pronounce. I’m tired of the days where I don’t blackout and wake up drooling, its time for a change. I’ve been able to think clearly since (R)October 20, 2007 and what has it gotten me? I left college, got a girlfriend, got a 9-5 working for The Man, and live with my parents to save money. You call that thinking straight? I’ve had enough, it all ends Friday.

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Every guy out there knows that, inherent with being a man, there are great decisions that need to be made. Hooker or dog? Boxers or briefs? Is a mouth a mouth? Condom or baby? Cigarettes, or for two dollars more in NY, crack? However, there are many more decisions that, unlike those mentioned, we don’t face every morning. This is the first chapter of a book that may eventually turn into an encyclopedia. (more…)