Da Bachelorhood

Not Really. I just wanted to nab the Google search terms for our demographic.

You’re probably wondering how it came to be that two jocks, a nerd and an emo kid started a blog. How’d we all meet? I honestly cannot remember meeting any of the guys. Something about college and alcohol and waking up in Stuart Hall. Not naked, don’t be ridiculous. Ok, naked.

We decided to go with all guys because we wanted to limit our chances of one of us dying: we couldn’t pass up on the low risk of cervical cancer. We had a scare once with Snake Eyes. Thank god it was only a vaginal sore.

So we’re all out of college now and we’re all livin’ the high life. Well. Not all of us. Snake eyes is still living the college life. How quaint! Send him an ecard letting him know how cute it is that he’s still in college.

The rest of us have moved on. Jersey moved to New Jersey and lives with a milf and her husband. He works for the man. Brickman is living with a milf and another milf. (If you’re curious, the plural is “milves.”) He works for the man. And me? I live by myself in an apartment in the middle of the cornfield. I’m the man.

What unifies us is our epitomization* of bachelorhood. We all share it’s universal traits. Brickman receives $3 a week from a homeless man, whom he lets into his apartment to collect empty cans and bottles. Jersey goes to bars and lies to girls about his success as a lawyer. I still don’t own a nail clipper - I keep my nails trimmed by grinding them on a brick I found in the front yard. Snake Eyes pays some schmuck $3 dollars a week for the cans and bottles from his apartment floor. I see someone understands the value of aluminum!

So here it goes. Stay tuned to hear Jersey drone on about football.

*not actually a word.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007 at 5:00 am and is filed under Da Bachelors. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.